10 Years. What? 10 YEARS!

Oh my wow. 10 Years. We made it to 10 years. It's funny. I've been contemplating lately what I was going to write on my social media sites to announce/brag/commemorate our 10 year wedding anniversary. (you know... because DUH, you have to post about this kind of stuff!)  I read others  lovey dovey relationship posts... I find them cute.... I find them endearing.... I find myself wondering. Do they argue? Do they fight? Do they really never go to bed mad at each other. I find myself thinking. Comparing. Envious. Happy. Depressed. Thankful. Blessed. (You get it, right?) I LOVE social media. I love it because you can share your life with family near and far, the life of your friends and reconnect with old friends and meet new friends. However, with social media, comes many posts throughout the day about peoples lives. Not too many people like to post the bad. I get it. I applaud it. I respect it. HOWEVER. The problem with "reality" now days is.... it's not really reality. It's inevitable that if you are on social media sites, you will compare yourself or your relationships to others in your newsfeed. (Some more than others). I would be lying if I said I didn't get discouraged about my marriage by comparing mine with someones FANTASTIC marriage by their "daily" relationship post. (you following?) This.... is about to get real. But sometimes, and especially in a world where marriage is so easily and casually tossed in the trash, the real needs to be told so that the comparring can turn into the "Yes, I'm not alone"

Ron and I. We couldn't be more opposite. He an introvert. Me loud and crazy. He a neatfreak. Me a walking disaster. He a germaphobe. Me... well.. I'd lick a sidewalk. We met November of 2002. A family dinner arranged by his Aunt and Uncle at my mom and step-dad house. He didn't talk to me and I went home and told my roommate he was a dork. We didn't see each other or speak until the following summer when we were both at (now say this next part with a hillbilly accent) The Jackson County Fair. (Insert a YEE_HAW here). We had both been drinking. (GASP). Funny and (kinda) cool thing is... Ron talks when he has alcohol in his system. He also dances, laughs and relaxes. We made out, went to Sharis had pie and we've been together ever since.  (Not the super awesome romantic Christian way of meeting someone... I know. But its the real part of our "us" and it worked.)

OH, and if you are still reading this. Please excuse any grammatical errors. Just like I love "social" media... I excelled at "social" high school. Not grammar class. :)

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^^^^ Okay, After waking up this morning I decided to delete a lot of the detail and writing out much more. I just want to say this. Marriage is hard. It actually downright sucks sometimes. Maybe for some people it comes easy. Falling in love with each other every day, never arguing, always sweet.... easy peasy. It's not the case for everyone. Ron and I are that "everyone". I sometimes question why God gave me Ron. He is a fantastic guy. But we have complete differen't Love Languages and more often than not it feels like a struggle. I love him so much and I know he loves me. But we have days where we just don't click. Do I throw in the towel... run down to the courthouse and file papers and start dividing assets. NO. Does he? NO. We both made a commitment on this day 10 years ago, to each other, to our family, and to God. We live in a day where divorce is so easily done, so socially accepted, where people don't call you out on your selfish behavior and tell you to buck up and figure out how to fix your relationship. I am amazed at how often I hear friends bashing on husbands, telling the woman she could do better. Instead of saying "Look, maybe your approaching it the wrong way, have you tried to talk to him this way, or have you tried this, or that. Have you looked at your own heart lately.... what's bugging you?" (is this making sense?) As immature as I can be in my marriage at times... I do know that I am mature enough to realize when I am the one being immature about an issue, or how to solve a problem.When I am letting my comparing on Facebook get in the way of building up my marriage. When my business is taking more time away from my husband and kids and I need to focus on that and step away from the computer for a day or two. Did I realize those things in the first few years of marriage.... no not really. Every person, every relationship will always be a work in progress. I am in no way a person who will sign myself or my marriage up for "role model marriage of the year" class. But I want to shovel out encouragement today, as I reflect on so many struggles and hard days (and don't get me wrong there have been a TON of great days!).

I have a lot of divorce in my family. It's ugly. Whether there are kids involved or not. It's sad and ugly. Nobody marries someone with the thought of divorce. I knew growing up that I didn't want to go thru a divorce and I especially didn't want my kids to go through one. I knew that I wanted to be able to have a 50th wedding anniversary party! I knew that I wanted to be old with my husband and be able to reflect on the life we are living now. That is why I push through the difficult days/ weeks/ months. And I'm not lying... there are months that for what seems like an entire month we just don't mesh well. But we push through and its great. And remember... Forgiveness. It's hard to forgive. from the smallest of the small to the largest of the large. Give forgiveness. I have witnessed a marriage between close friends almost die because of infidelity. But the husband offered forgiveness. And they are together still. Has it been easy for them. Not at all. Has there been healing, comfort, strength, and peace. Yes. They are teaching their children and others how to love and forgive in a very horrible circumstance. And even though biblical y a divorce would be okay. This man loved his wife and his children enough to work through the pain. I admire that. I admire them both.

I have always considered my marriage something of a legacy that I wanted to leave to my family and my children. I want them to see the commitment honored. Making it through the hard times but also creating really great times. Over the past year I would think of how I wanted to celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary. It started out with wanting to renew our vows. Being that it is true that I love him more now than I did on our wedding day. My vows that we have honored for 10 years would be even more powerful now than they were then. Then I wanted to renew our vows on a beach in Hawaii just the two of us and then have my mom fly over with my kids and have a vacation. The reality of that though is we both hate the heat and I strongly dislike swimsuits. ha! Then a few months ago I wanted to kidnap Ron to Nashville. (which someday I will) to currently just being happy being home building a house and celebrating our love and our legacy with (no joke) building a foundation of solid rock this weekend for our new home. :) Kind of ironic and cute all wrapped into one. As much as I love getting flowers or a cute little box with something sparkly.. I don't need it. I have what I need. I have him. We are different but he completes me.

I didn't want to leave a sappy love post. I wanted to leave something real. And leave others encouragement. Push through the hard days, change your heart, forgive, laugh, flirt, create a legacy and honor your commitment. It wasn't easy getting to 10 years. But I am so happy to be here and I am excited for the next 10!

♥♥

But just to tap into the sappy. Things I love (and hate but will someday maybe love) about Ron.
He is smart, handy to have around for fixing things, he has a great smile, I love how he laughs, how he passed out 3 different times from laughing so hard, he loves his family, he has no desire to be away from me or his kids and would be with is 24/7 if he could, he is an incredibly hard working, loves Jesus, loves my family, the way he scratches his head when he is thinking, how he crosses his arms when he stands, how he always puts his feet with mine at bedtime, how he is deathly terrified to try new food unless it is meat or potatoes, how he plays with our kids, how he loves me.

Stuffed Bell Peppers by Lacie Lacy

Several weeks ago I posted that I had made a delicious dinner. That dinner was stuffed bell peppers. Some friends and family had asked for the recipe. So, without further hesitation. Here it is. Keep in mind that stuffed bell peppers are easy, and so good! You can stuff them with so many things and it seems like it will always taste great! For this recipe I used what I had available in my fridge. While at the grocery store, I knew that I wanted to use up some items at home and so while cruising the produce isle I saw bell peppers and knew instantly what my plan was.

I hope you enjoy!

Crazy Beautiful Life

Sometimes I think, why. Why did God give me life? Why did I get married? Why did I choose to have kids? Why do I have friends? Why.... don't I just disappear? I'm not a good person. I'm cranky, I'm mean, I'm selfish, I'm disrespectful, I'm sloppy, I'm depressed, I'm.... just... horrible. I don't deserve this life.  And if I'm being honest here... I have begged begged begged for God to take me.

I have a very powerful mind. A very creative one at that. My mind NEVER shuts off. Never.  It's great at times and a curse at other times. When Satan wants to attack me, he does so by getting in my head. He knows my vulnerability lies in there. I could go into depth about my life, about times this has horribly affected me but I want to talk and write about this week because tonight.... something awesome happened.

This week I came home from a fun and relaxing filled weekend. I came home to my husband, my son and my daughter. There were hugs and kisses and I love you's said... and then.... real life took front stage again. My son, whom I love dearly. My son who is 4 1/2 going on 14. He is my oldest. I am the oldest in my family. Oldest for me meant= strong willed, confident, defiant, stubborn, moody. Oldest for my son = all of that too. So naturally because we are so much alike we butt heads. This week I could honestly say that almost every ounce of my body wanted to drop my son off with grammy and run away, throw myself into a bowl of spaghetti (who doesn't love to emotionally eat a bowl of spahgetti) and cry all of my mama's-at-the-end-of-her-rope tears away. (This is sugar coating my feelings) The truth is, satan saw what was happening. He saw me frustrated, he saw me angry, he saw me hurting and he got in my head. Do you know that Satan is a liar. His ultimate goal is to ruin and destroy anything good.

Side Note: I go to a bible study on Thursday mornings. We are currently reading The Power of a Praying Wife. Confession: I just bought the book today finally. I kept saying I would buy it off Amazon for cheap, and never did. So today I made myself get lost in Barnes and Noble (Holla if you love bookstores!) and I bought it. (Along with Have a New Kid by Friday, by Kevin Leman, woot-woot!) Side Note Over.

I started reading the book The Power of a Praying Wife tonight and on page 18 it says this... (this is directed towards marriage and husband and wife becoming one, but I feel it also applied to my life lately in many relationships) This oneness gives us a power that the enemy doesn't like. That's why he devises ways to weaken it. He gives us whatever we will fall for, whether it be low self-esteem, pride, the need to be right, miscommunication, or the bowing to our own selfish desires. He will tell you lies like, "Nothing will ever change." "Your failures are irreparable." "There is no hope for reconciliation." "You'd be happier with someone else." He'll tell you whatever you will believe, because he knows if he can get you to believe it, there is no future for your marriage. If you believe enough lies, your heart will eventually be hardened against God's truth.

WOW.

This week. These are the lies I heard in my head. "You are a horrible mother." "How are you a person with a family, you don't deserve this." "Your kids would be better with someone else" "You are a mean and selfish person" "You don't deserve to be alive" They may seem miniscule here in this blog, but the shook me to my core this week.

This week Dillon has tested EVERY SINGLE OUNCE of me. And Satan has tested EVERY SINGLE OUNCE OF ME. And they were both winning.  This week, I screamed, I cried, I acted like a child too. This week, I believed all the lies that were in my head. I beat myself up mentally. 

This afternoon it all changed. I had some time alone this evening. It was only about 10 minutes. But it was 10 minutes alone, to soak in God's beautiful creation and re-center. Fast forward to about 10PM. Super late for bedtime I know... ;) Ron went to bed and I was left on the couch with Miss Elly and Mr. Dillon. Dillon was in a great mood as was Elly. I had bought D two new books at Barnes & Noble today. One was a workbook on how to write and the other was a short story book from the new movie Planes. We did a page in his workbook, and then read his story book. I still did not feel like I wanted to put him to bed. I decided to put Elly to bed so that Dillon and I could have some alone time and re-center our mommy-son relationship. This week had taken a toll and it needed to be healed. Who is the ultimate Healer? God. I had gone into the kitchen to get a glass of water when I saw this sheet I had printed out MONTHS ago. I decided it was the perfect thing to sit and do with my son. Pray. Why hadn't I thought of this earlier? Oh! That's right. I was acting like a bratty little child this week too. I grabbed the sheet, he grabbed our favorite big green fuzzy warm blanket. We began to go through each topic to pray about. (The sheet in case you haven't clicked on link yet looks like this...

Each topic opened up conversations. Amazing and profound conversations. Some we have had before, and some that we had not. Love, friends, wisdom, choices, character, God, Jesus, Thankfulness, purity.... I was blown away and the things Dillon was asking, stumped on some, and blessed by others. The presence of God was there ever so strongly, I could feel my mind get stronger and healthier from the abuse it took the last few days. I was brought to tears a couple times in our conversation because of the relief I felt and also the guilt I felt for acting so horrible this week. We talked about our attitudes. I confessed to my son that I did wrong this week. Yelling, and saying snotty things. We talked about his attitude and words as well. Then together we prayed and asked for forgiveness and for a stronger relationship.

God is good. I am NOT a perfect Christian, I am NOT a perfect mother I am NOT a perfect friend.. BUT....I am not a horrible person. I am a normal and good mother that has lots of improving to do. I do deserve this life. God has given it to me because He thinks so too! I am tired, I am busy, but I AM BLESSED. .And tonight I was blessed even more. Thank you Lord, for loving me, for loving my family and putting people, books, words, creation in front of me to help me realize your love for me and my family.

♥L

Knocked Up- 36 weeks Prego this week!

My last post was a bit of downer... Today started off good and then went cruddy. So I have decided instead of sulking I will veg out for a minute and do a fun little pregnancy questionnaire.

When are you due: December 5, 2012

How many weeks: 36!!

Was this planned or unplanned: planned

How much weight gained: 16lbs

Is this your first pregnancy?: Nope, 5th. 2nd to make it full term! :)

Latest food craving: Orange Juice, smoothies, cheese and crackers, food.

Your top two name choices or baby's name: not saying still

Worst Thing about being pregnant: squished bladder, not being able to get comfortable at bedtime, P-Spikes. (don't ask unless you really want to know) and right now being sick for 3 weeks while in the last stretch of pregnancy.

Best Thing about being pregnant: feeling life inside me, knowing that I will be holding a precious little baby in about 4-5 weeks.

The first person you told was: my friend Maria as we were out to dinner and where we were sitting she thought we had to order a beverage with alcohol in it.

Are you more scared or excited: excited and anxious.

Happy or mostly moody: moody lately

Last time you cried over something ridiculous was: Tonight

You pee an estimated __ times a day?: 35 times, SO over that!

Weirdest dream you've had since pregnant?: That I worked in the circus and wore this beautiful blue sequined gown and I taught little Jack Russel pups to jump and do tricks and drink root beer out of paper cups. I also (same dream) was the horse trainer and I danced with the horses. I would wrap my arms around the horses neck and the horse would rear up and spin me in a circle. :) Another wierd dream is I wanted to have my pictures done by Amanda K (an amazing local photographer here in southern oregon) Her and her team, along with me, broke into my old high school gymnasium that looked more like a gross car shop. We heard people and started hiding on shelves so as not to be found. It was weird.

Will you breast feed: for sure! Hopefully for the first year!

List 5 qualities you hope your baby will possess:#1.  Happiness  #2.  A good cuddler  #3.  Curious  #4.  Patient  #5.  A gooood sleeper!

What's your ideal labor experience? Having the will and energy to move around as much as possible and utilizing all the natural pain-management techniques offered by the birth center with my husband right by my side.  To have a room full of love and laughter, good energy. To be surrounded by a group of special women. And of course as fast as Dillons birth or faster! :)

Have you been talking to your baby? Playing music?: I don't talk to baby  TOO often because honestly, I feel crazy when I do that. Sometimes Dillon and I will say hello and some other little things. When I found out that baby was breech I started taping a headphone on the lower abdomen and putting on Pandora. Mostly piano music as I find it relaxing and so I listen to it as well at the end of the day. No words to the music. I can just re-center myself and focus on relaxing my body so that baby is in a relaxed environment too. The past few weeks have been stressful so I've been trying to listen to music every night. This baby LOVES music. From the worship in church to the radio on or a TV commercial. he/she will start to wiggle. I love it.

Words of wisdom : Remember to breathe and don't feel guilty to pretend you have to go pee again, just so you have a few minutes to yourself.

Where's the chocolate!!!

I'm sorry but I'm depressed and I need to vent. Read at your own risk. I'm just burnt out.

When I was pregnant with Dillon I loved being pregnant. I loved everything about it and I don't remember getting tired and ready for it to be over.

Well... I am done being pregnant with baby #2. The past month has been very stressful for me. Especially these past two weeks. I have been sick with a major chest cold, flu like symptoms and a major sinus infection. Dillon has also been sick off an on the last 2 weeks. I have had zero energy, my stomach muscles and ligaments are sore from coughing so much as is my head, my face hurts from sinus pressure, my body aches from being pregnant and sick. I'm stressed thinking that my sickness has given this baby a more stressful environment the past two weeks than what I wanted. I wanted to be on "maternity leave" as of November 1st. My plan for November was to enjoy my last month with my son, get the house in order a bit and just relax and soak in the last month of my pregnancy. This is not the case and I am heartbroken. Because of me being sick I am weeks behind on client orders, I had to reschedule a small handful of sessions for the second weekend in November which means I'll be editing for the week or two after, Ron leaves to go out of town for a week and a half this Wednesday which means I will be back to single mama status. I have absolutely nothing in my house that pertains to a newborn baby. Everything is still in the attic. I have my best friends baby shower tomorrow and I so wish I felt 100% for it. My projects for the shower I didn't start on until today because of being so sick and they turned out like crap. So I've been crying for the last 1/2 hour. (Mostly from the stress of the last couple weeks). I just want to shut my cell phone off. Put a gate at the end of my driveway lock the doors and go into a complete hibernation for the next 4 weeks. I am wiped out. Maxed out. Stressed out. :(

Sorry for being a nag. But I needed to vent a bit. Prayers would be appreciated.

Mama to 3 Angels

Today, October 15th 2012

is

National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

For some this may seem like another cheesy day that was created to remember people's

"embryos", "fetus" that they never saw, etc etc.

But for those that have suffered the loss of a pregnancy or an infant..

this is our day to talk about those babies.

To remember them verbally.

We remember them every day.

But we may stop talking about them because we don't want to drag others down, 

or make others feel uncomfortable.

But today... we talk. Today we openly remember them.

I, am a mama to 3 angels in heaven.

I never saw them.

But I saw their heartbeats.

They were my babies.

And I will always remember them.

Here is some info about this day.

• Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is a day of remembrance for pregnancy loss and infant death, which includes but is not limited to miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, or the death of a newborn. It is observed annually in the United States and Canada and, in recent years, in the United Kingdom and in the Australian State of New South Wales,[1] on October 15.
• The day is observed with remembrance ceremonies and candle-lighting vigils, concluding with the International Wave of Light, a worldwide lighting of candles at 7:00 p.m.

History

• The Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Movement began in the United States on October 25, 1988 when then-American President Ronald Reagan designated the month of October 1988 as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.^[2]

• The October 15th Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day (PAILRD) Campaign began in 2002 as an American movement started by Robyn Bear, Lisa Brown, and Tammy Novak. Together, they petitioned the federal government, as well as the governors of each of the 50 states, and by October 15, 2002 (the first observance of PAILRD) 20 states had signed proclamations recognizing the date as such.

Read more here.

God gave me the journey for a reason.

It has helped me help others in the same situations.

But there are still days I wonder why.

You can read about my journey HERE if you want. 

We didn't name our angels.

But today (and everyday) I remember

Baby #1 Due July 2008, miscarriage at 8 weeks

Baby #2 Due July 2010, ectopic pregnancy

Baby #3 Due December 2010, miscarriage at 7 weeks

I also want to remember my friend Krystle's baby

Due July 2010, miscarriage at 10 weeks.

To Jamie and her baby girl Ava and little boy Noah

Lindsay M and her angel, miscarriage in 2011

I know there are many more friends that have angel babies

and to all of you and the families who have little ones waiting for us in Heaven.

Thoughts are going out to you today. 

And a huge virtual hug.

Baby #3 Due December 2010

Yes, I really took that many tests and more! :) Baby #3 Due December 2010, M/C 7 weeks later

 

It's not goodbye... It's see you soon....

I haven't even got through the first sentence in this post and tears are filling my eyes....

When I was younger I loved change. New car, new house, a different schedule, you name it I was for it. As I get older change is harder.

Tomorrow my baby sister. My sister I wished for, will move away to college. How the heck did it go by so fast. 12 years younger than me and not only my sister but sometimes a feeling of my own child. (I think I'm feeling some empty nest syndrome... Dillon is not allowed to grow up) 12 years younger than me, we have always been at different points in life. Not for any reason other than age and life. So many times I had wished that we could be just a couple years difference between us. Talking about boys, acting like crazy kids together, experiencing more things at the same time together. So many times I wished that she remembered when I lived at home with her. We were inseparable when I was home. She was in my bed next to me almost each night, dancing in the bedroom, swimming in the pool, relaxing in front of the TV, hanging with me and my friends.... we were with each other all the time. Then I graduated and moved out. Moved away. Came back and got caught up in life. Early 20's. Juggling young adult life, priorities, and relationships. We stayed close but nothing quite like living at home in the same house.....

I love her to pieces. I would jump in front of a train for her. She makes me so proud in everything she does. This girl that I have the very amazing privilege of calling my sister has made some of the best decisions I have ever seen someone her age make. Her outlook on life is always positive and optimistic. Her desire to reach her goals is so passionate. Her zeal for living life to the fullest is contagious when with her. She love life... and it loves her back. (yep... I'm still crying)...(I'm blaming some of the tears on exhaustion and pregnancy hormones). God has HUGE plans in store for her. His hand is upon her and I am so excited to see him work in her and guide her to her dreams. I am even more excited to be her cheerleader on the sidelines. To be a phone call away on the nights she misses home. A skype away when she needs to see a refreshing and beautiful face (bahaha!!) Always praying for her. Always encouraging her.

.....

Dearest Gab,
Thank you. Thank you for being you. For all the smiles, all the encouragement, the hugs and all the fun pictures to hold onto while we are apart. I know it's not goodbye... it's see you soon. And as fast as time flys I know it won't be very long before we see each other again (in person cause Skype doesn't count). I hope you know how proud I am of you. I AM SO PROUD!! You have been so focused throughout your life. You have set goals and, with baby-steps and also giant leaps, have reached such amazing things at your age. You are a role model for so many people old and young. Stay focused but enjoy your time up north. Meet new people, experience some new things. But.... (yes in a motherly tone) keep your head on straight. Don't let the ways of the world sway you to try things that you know in your heart aren't good. Keep God close to your heart. Don't let your evening devotions fall away. Pray. Pray for guidance and wisdom that only He can give you. Pray for the people you encounter that you know need more of Him in their life. Be a light to them like I know you can. Pray for us at home as we are all worry-warts and will be thinking of you often and praying for you too. ;) Dad will be okay. We'll go visit him more so the house won't be so quite and he won't worry about you as much. ;) Know that we are all rootin' for ya! And know that anytime you need us we are here for you.

I love you baby sis!
♥ always
Lace

PS. I am reading a book that was suggested by my bookie friend Krystle. It's amazing. Although I will admit I picked it up only today and read bits and pieces. But I'm going to write somethings here but I am writing them to you also on paper so you have to hold. The book is The Circle Maker, Praying circles around your biggest dreams and greatest fears.

In the first chapter there is a few paragraphs that I love...
If you keep praying, you'll keep dreaming, and conversely, if you keep dreaming, you'll keep praying. Dreaming is a form of praying, and praying is a form of dreaming. The more you pray the biiger your dreams will become. And the bigger your dreams become the more you will have to pray. In that process of drawing ever-enlarging prayer circles, the sphere of God's glory is expanded.
Our date of death is not the date etched on our tombstone. The day we stop dreaming is the day we start dying. When imagination is sacrificed on the altar of logic, God is robbed of the glory that rightfully belongs to Him. In fact, the death of a dream is often a subtle form of idolatry. We lose faith in the God who gave us the big dream and settle for a small dream that we can accomplish without His help. We go after dreams that don't require divine intervention. We go after dreams that don't require prayer. And the God who is able to do immeasurably more than all our right brain can imagine is supplanted by a god -lowercase g- who fits within the logical constraints of our left brain.
Nothing honors God more than a big dream that is way beyond our ability to accomplish. Why? Because there is no way we can take credit for it. And nothing is better for our spiritual development than a big dream because it keeps us on our knees in raw dependence on God. Drawing prayer circles around our dreams isn't just a mechanism whereby we accomplish great things for God; it's a mechanism whereby God accomplishes great things in us.
Is it possible for a man to dream continuously for seventy years?
If you keep drawing prayer circles, the answer is yes.
May you keep dreaming until the day you die. May imagination overtake memory. May you die young at a ripe old age.

WOW! Isn't that amazing. :) I'll let you borrow this book when I'm done with it. It's going to rock our dreaming worlds!

I love you. More than you will ever know.

See you soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I did not re-read anything I just wrote. I was crying through most of it so I'm sure there are SO many typos. And sentences that do not belong or make any sense. :) I'm just a hormonal ball of emotions tonight. :)

27 weeks!

How far along?  27 weeks, 4 days (But who's counting)
Total weight gain/loss?  10lbs.
Maternity clothes?  Oh yes! I love them. No muffin top. Eat what I want and I don't have to unbutton my pants. ;)
Stretch marks? Yes, Left over from Mr. Dillon. And now they are looking a bit darker. Yay! (not)
Sleep?  Sleep.... I love it. But I don't get enough. And lately I've been waking up with a bad dream or just waking up wide awake.
Best moment last week? Going on a road trip with my mom to Portland and meeting some amazing photographers. Lots of movement from the baby. Some very uncomfortable and some very cool.
Movement? I feel the baby constantly. This kid is a mover. I seriously don't remember Dillon moving this much. It's cool, but I will admit there are times where it is uncomfortable and I want it to stop... but then when it's not moving I miss it.
Food cravings?  Pretzel with cheese sauce, cheese, juice, fruits, Cherry Limeade from Taco Bell, and most food. ha!
Gender? We dont know. :) :)
Labor signs? I had my first round of Braxton Hicks last week while at the conference.
Belly button in/out? Pretty shallow.... :)
What I miss: Turning over in bed without being uncomfortable and sleeping on my stomach. :) But other than that I love being prego!
What I am looking forward to: My fall baby shower. Fall is my most favorite time of year. MOST FAVE!
Milestones: Every day is a milestone. :)

Other things I wanted to note:
Smells..... I am SO sensitive to smells. At the conference someones breath was so bad I seriously thought I was going to puke. I had great seats so I didn't want to get up and leave. I remembered I had Bath & Body Works yummy lotion and I rubbed in in my nose. Much better than poop breath. :)

Mom and I stopped at Woodburn Outlets and I had to buy something..... in case it's a girl... THE cutest Red christmas dress with a black sparkle shrug. (Hey you never know) And then a cute pair of newborn stretch jeans for a boy or a girl. And a pair of UGG look a likes for a baby. I brought them home and told Dillon. "Wanna see what mama bought the baby...?" "YES!!" So I brought out the clothes and Dillon had the best response. I wish I had it on video. He got a high pitch squeal and said "OH MY GOSH mom that is SO cute, It's so small!" And then I brought out the jeans and he told me they were funny because they are so little. I love that little man, he's going to be a cool Big Brother.

To all the single moms.... I APPLAUD YOU. I have been a single mama (basically) for 6 days out of the week. (husband works out of town) It is stressful. I wish I could give all the single parents a photo session. Hugs to you all!

Friday, Friday, Friday...

Hello!!! ( this was originally wrote on friday... I forgot to post it)

1) Why do people do stupid things? Shooting innocent people... in a movie theater...   I will never understand why people do the things they do at this magnitude. It makes me scared to go in public sometimes. But it also makes me want to CCW (carry a concealed weapon) more. Just think.. if someone, had a CCW in that theater, they could have fought back. And that piece of scum would have been laying on the theater floor too. Not walking in the parking lot. Sad... Very sad...

2) Prayers would be appreciated. We had our 20 week ultrasound yesterday!! It was amazing, beautiful, comforting but a little nerve wracking. My placenta at the beginning of the US was very low. It was on top of the cervix. Which normally is NOT where you want it. It doesn't harm the pregnancy so to speak, but if the placenta stays on the cervix it blocks the baby's way out vaginally and I would have a C-Section. Luckily my placenta moved up and away from the Cervix during the ultrasound so it wasn't a concern anymore. The explanation from my (amazing) ultrasound tech is that I was most likely having a Braxton hicks contraction (normal) and it was causing the placenta to be pushed down. The contraction was over so the placenta was up. However I do have an anterior placenta which explains why I haven't really felt the baby until now. I can't remember exactly but I felt Dillon around 18 weeks. I was getting nervous that something was wrong with this baby because I wasn't feeling kicks. (I would feel a small rolling sensation and some pressure on the side but never very strong and never a "oh that was a kick!") It was just bacsuse the placenta was making an extra cushion (like a need more cushion ha!) between the baby and my belly. We did have to do a transvaginal ultrasound at the end to check on the positioning and it was noticed that there is something odd on top of my cervix. (I am so bad at repeating things medically so bear with me) There is some type of artery/vessel at the top of my cervix. It is not common and they don't know why it is there. The blood flow pattern was odd too. So according to the Perniatologist I spoke to yesterday there. She is NOT concerned at all. It does not look like it is posing a risk to anything. BUT they want to keep an eye on it. I will go back in 6 weeks for another ultrasound to check on it and hopefully find out more about it. So prayer about that would be nice as even though the Dr. says she is not concerned... I am a little. Giving it to God.

3) My friend Richelle was also my ultrasound tech. She is so sweet. and... She knows what we are having!!! So Richelle if you're reading this you can giggle at me if I am completely off! :) {HUG}  Up until the last week or two I was thinking it's a girl. But... within these last 2 weeks I've switched. I think it's a boy... Yesterday at the ultrasound Dillon came right out and said. "Is that my baby brother?" (looking at the ultrasound of my ovaries. ha!) So 20 more weeks and we'll see. We have the DVD of the US session yesterday. I told Ron we should have a gender reveal party and watch it with friends and family and we would all see what it is at the same time..... then I changed my mind. We will wait until December. :) (insert evil laugh here)

Late night, can't sleep, name game, dilema.

Naming your child is hard. Especially when everyone you know has kids.... and has chosen many of the names you wanted for your children. Not their fault at all.

When I was pregnant with Dillon and before I knew what sex he was I had one girl name chosen and not too many people that I knew had used that name. We hadn't really discussed names so it wasn't until we knew he was a boy that we put the girl name to the side and focused on boy names. I love the thought of carrying on names in the family but also wanted something original for ourselves and "our" little family. I know I wanted to use my dad's name, Michael, as my son's middle name. After all since I took Ron's last name and it will be carried on my father's name should be carried on too. We went through a dozen names before we finally decided and agreed upon, in the hospital after he was born, on Dillon Michael Lacy. I love it. His name means faithful one. It fits him, It rolls off my tongue and I love writing it.

Now here we are with baby #2 on the way. We don't know if it's a boy or girl and we won't know until she/he is here in December. (I don't want to hear the complaints ☺) The girl name I love is pulled back to the front burner.... but now a handful of people I know have daughters named this name too. I'm starting to feel like it's a "John" name. (The name John was the 1st most popular name for like 15 years on the SSA website.) ha! But I love the name. It's my mother in law's middle name and then I will use my mother's middle name for the baby's middle name. (this is if it's a girl, fingers crossed) I love that I love the names, and I love that they are family names. It's cute for a little girl and beautiful and sophisticated for a woman. I am 90% sure I will love this name forever... but 10% of me hates that it's so popular. ugh. My second and third place names for a little lady are also becoming more popular and I have 2 friends with daughters the same names.

Am I the only one who gets a little wierd-ed out about naming your kid the same as your friends kid? I always think... will they think I'm trying to copy them? Will they be offended if I used that name... even if it's been on my name list since Ron and I were married? Will my kid hate me for naming them such a popular name? Ask my sister... I am wierd when it comes to naming my kid. She hates helping me. Example: She will mention a name.... I will remember a kid from my elementary school that was rude to girls and I will be completely against the name. Example: She will mention a name... I will remember a girl with that name that picked her nose and ate her boogers and I will be completely against the name. Basically if there is one gross, bad, annoying moment, movie with a bad guy named "that"... I am against the name. This makes it difficult.

Tonight I decided to get online and start making a list of names I like. I started making my girl list. The list I am so in love with right now and really hope I get to choose from in December. So far I have 10 names and I'm still adding. Then I think... well what if it's a boy.... Here's where the major dilema starts for me.... (sorry if I offend any family members. Write your congressman if you are. ha!)

Boy names.... on Ron's side of the family..... are outdated and to me.... not cool. Boy names on my side of the family.... I already used my dad. Every other guy on his side of the family is kind of a DB or I don't like the name. My grandpa, my mom's dad, has a cool middle name but it's also my brothers middle name and since I used my dad's name I don't want to take my grandpa's middle name in case my brother and his wife decide to have kids and want to use it. (did that make any sense) As of 1:24AM I am thinking (besides the thought that I should be in bed asleep) that I will use Ron's middle name. 

Examples of Ron's family being: Ralph, Larry, Captolia, Harry, Ira...... do you see my point.  These names all fit the personalities of the men who carried them... but they don't fit well with me and the names I am choosing for boys. Examples of my side of the family being: Fred, Samuel (I love that name, but it's my brother's name too and he may want to use it on his kids so I'm leaving that one untouched)......

So here I sit. Wondering why I'm even fretting about this, I am only 17 weeks and have several months to figure it out. But still freaking out that I only have one boy name written down and I really don't even like it.

ALSO I want to add that when your last name is the same as your first name (my name is Lacie Lacy) it makes naming your kid harder because even though I have lived with the name for 7 years now... it still is silly. 

Week 15 (and 4 days) ;)

pregnancy questionnaire 14 weeks

How far along? 15 weeks and 4 days

How big is baby? According to the pregnancy ap on my phone. The baby is the size of an apple. About 41/2 inches and weighs 1/4lb.

Total weight gain/loss: I am up about 5-8lbs since my per-pregnancy weight. (Much different than the 10-15 lbs I lost with Dillon in my first trimester because of food aversions) I'm not worried about weight though. :) I eat good. And the baby is healthy.

Maternity clothes? Exclusively pants. I love my secret fit belly maternity pants. It's good to let the belly be relaxed and I feel comfy. That's what matters! 

Sleep: I sleep on my stomach and I love it. I am sure that will end soon though as I am starting to feel the bump. :) bummer!

Best moment this week: Dillon is in love with his future baby sister or brother. He likes to put his hands on my belly and I pretend to push my belly out and say the baby is playing with him. He also kisses my belly a few times throughout the day. Yesterday he started telling my what he can't wait to do when his brother or sister is here. Like play monster trucks and ride bikes. :) I love it.

Movement: Every now and then I think I feel a little flutter but I'm not 100% for sure so I kind of "forget about it" :) I've heard/read that you can sometimes feel the baby this early with your second. I am sure within the next couple weeks I'll start to feel her/him.

Food cravings: I haven't really had a specific craving. I like all food.

Food Aversions: None really.

Gender: As of now we are NOT finding out the sex of the baby.

Labor Signs: NONE!! And hopefully not for a long time!!

Pregnancy Symptoms: Round ligament pain if I go from a squatting to standing position to fast. Tired and a heavy belly.

Belly Button in or out? In

What I miss: Not much.  Just energy I guess.

What I am looking forward to: Buying some new baby stuff. (Car seat, stroller, cloth diapers,diaper bag especially)

Upcoming appointments/events:  My middle of the road and last ultrasound in about 4 weeks.

Weekly Wisdom: It's your birth, do what feels most comfortable and don't worry about anyone else.

Milestones: None really this week other than of course... making it to week 15!

Bump Picture: coming soon. :)

Midwifery and a Birth Center

*Disclaimer- I may spell some things incorrectly. I don't know how to use punctuation correctly all the time. I may include many run on and on sentences. And I may write in circles and loose you a bit. BUT you'll learn something new either about someone or someplace. :) 

 Hopefully you have read the previous post. If not than go there now. :) CLICK HERE

 In my previous post I mentioned that I had a midwife..... 

....and I will be giving birth NOT in a hospital but at Trillium Water Birth Center.

I first heard about Trillium Water Birth Center when they opened in January of 2011. And "liked" their page on facebook. I wasn't even thinking about my future births because I was in the moment of just trying to get knocked up! It wasn't until I read more and spoke with a friend who delivered with Trillium and their team of midwives that I decided I would consider midwifery with my next pregnancy. This same friend is Melissa Cate, the main birth photographer at Trillium Water Birth Center. I am her backup photographer. 

I went to Trillium and had a tour of the facility and was able to meet Augustine. She has such a warm and gentle spirit about her and most of all relaxed but bubbly. She's a person who you can't help but just feel like her friend. We chatted for a bit and then left. I was on call in March for births while Melissa was out of town. One of the mama's went into labor. It was a long labor and I was at the birth center for quite awhile. Being at the birth center gave me hours upon hours of firsthand observation on how Augustine and the midwives at Trillium work through Labor & Delivery. WOW! Talk about incredible. The support these 3 women gave to this mama was great! All of them were so calm and collected and knowledgeable. The atmosphere at the birth center is calming and the way these women interact with the mama makes it even more peaceful and respectful for the mom in labor. They talked with her about what her body was doing, made sure she was comfortable, had a warm bath drawn for her, candles lit, and her music playing. The baby was monitored with a hand held Doppler and the charts were kept. When not in the room the midwives were very communicative as to how the mom was doing, the labor itself, and how each one of them was doing. The laid low and let the mom and dad have their space and let her labor get further along  on it's own. :) Once labor progressed to the point of "the baby is coming soon". The midwives were in the room present but not "up in the moms face". They spoke softly, they monitored gently, they were present. Once it was time for pushing Augustine stepped up to the plate and helped the mom and dad deliver their healthy and beautiful baby girl. It was beautiful on SO many levels. And I knew then that this would be a huge consideration for me when I become pregnant.

(Let's pause for a moment. I want to throw a few bullet points out there) ☺

*If you love hospitals... I still love you.

*If you love being drugged up and laughing your way through your labor... :) We're still friends for always. 

*If you think this birth center approach is too "crunchy" sounding for you. I still love you but I think you should read into it a lot more. :)

*I had a great pregnancy with my son and his birth was an all natural hospital birth and I loved everything about it. I wanted an all natural birth with him and I want an all natural birth with this baby too. And I feel the best place for me is OUT OF THE HOSPITAL.

*I have researched both the hospital/OB-GYN route and the Midwifery/Birth Center route. I feel for me this is the best route.

Okay back to the "story"

Low and behold I became pregnant at the end of March. I was so early so there was no need to make my decision of where I was going to seek care. So I prayed about it for several weeks. I continued my appointments at the OB/GYN office I had been attending for the last 7 years. But something just didn't feel right. I didn't feel comfortable there. Don't get me wrong there is an amazing staff there and I owe a lot of thanks to them. (I'm going to have a Grammy award thank you moment for a sec) A HUGE thank you to my infertility doctor Julie, she is amazing and I love her dearly for helping me in the fertility department, for delivering my son in 2008 and respecting my birth plan to have it all natural. (She no longer delivers babies, enter sad face here) Dr. Kim Larsen and her nurse Toni for helping me get knocked up! (They administered my IUI) :) And for Carrie for doing such a great job in drawing my blood SO MANY FREAKING TIMES. :) (and end speech) :) Knowing that none of these people would be my OB/GYN and delivering my baby left me feeling a bit lost. I knew out of all the doctors there that were delivering babies I wasn't to keen on being their patient. (For my own personal reasons, nothing bad, just my choice) My mind kept going back to Augustine and the birth center. Knowing that this is possibly my last pregnancy I was interested in trying out the other end of the spectrum (spectrum not speculum) ha! I wanted to know what it felt like to not wait for 30 minutes in a waiting room, to have an hour long appointment with women who really want to get to know YOU and YOUR desires for your pregnancy. I gave into my curiosity and scheduled an "interview" with my husband and I and the midwives at Trillium. Ron, Dillon and I (Yes I said my 3 year old son Dillon. They have in their meeting room a whole play area for the kiddos. He was in heaven and we had a great meeting with no screaming) We met on comfy couches and were served hot tea and crumpets. (joking about the crumpets, but I did get a great cup of pregnancy tea) We met with Augustine and Amy and a small handful of other midwife students. We met for a little over an hour and chatted like old friends, talked about the birth, talked about other births, my previous pregnancies and so much more. Ron was able to ask questions that were of concern to him and we both left feeling like this was the place. I canceled my appointments at my OB/GYN office and had my records faxed to Trillium Waterbirth Center. :) :) I continued some research, continued to pray that I was making the right decision, and watched the movie The Business of Being Born (I suggest everyone watch this who is interested or curious even the tiniest bit about midwifery) And I can honestly say that I am so at peace with my decision. Yes I miss a few of the ladies at the OB/GYN office but thankfully we are friends on facebook so I can still stay in touch with them! :)

It's 11:30 at night and I am so tired so I feel like this post is rambling on and not making much sense. So forgive me because I am not going to proofread it before I hit publish! ha!

Before I sign off for the night I want to go through my first two prenatal appointments with Trillium.

I know that I have forgotten some things I wanted to put into here. But please go to this link and there is a huge amount of Question and Answers and I found it very helpful when considering Trillium! 

Please know that if you would like to ask my ANY questions regarding my journey with infertility, birth, this choice I am an open book. You can email me at lacied07@hotmail.com or comment here. 

Thank you for reading!!

♥Lacie

13

Wow, Here I am.

I have been holding off waiting to write this blog post. So much fear, trying to trust in God and give this journey to Him. So often I get excited and forget to give thanks and pray.

I am SO happy and SO relieved to announce

 

Ron and I along with some doctors have gotten me knocked up! As I am writing this I am 11 weeks pregnant and by the time you read it I will be 13 weeks!!! Here's how it all happened...

In February I explained to my fertility doctor that I would like to try an IUI. IUI stands for Intro Uterine Insemination. (This is not IVF, In-Vitro Fertilization) IUI is the process of me testing my ovulation, calling my doctors office when I have a positive OPK (ovulation Predictor stick/kit), I then "collect" my husbands "goods" and since we live so far away I put on my blue and pink lighted siren, slap the sperm in transport sticker on my car and drive like a mad women to the other side of town. (Just joking) But I do have to get the "goods" to the office within 30 minutes. So it does call for some speeding. Once at the doctor I hand over the "goods" and wait in the waiting room for 40 minutes. In my case I went back out to my car with Ron and Dillon to take my mind off the process for a sec. In this 40 minutes the nurse washes the "goods" with a saline and seperates the good guys from the bad guys. After 40 minutes I go into the office. (The following may be TMI for guys to read and prudent ladies) ;) I go into the exam room, hoist my legs up into the oh so comfy stirrups. The doctor slips a catheter into my body and places it at the base of the uterus. (This saves the little swimmers an exhausting trip up vagina I-5 and hopefully get's them to the egg!) She injects the "goods" and we're done. (seriously a less than 5 minute procedure and completely painless) She hands me a magazine and I lay on the table with my hips elevated for 30 minutes. Then go home and wait.

That procedure was done on March 16th! I waited.... and waited... wondering if this costly little procedure was going to work or if we were going to have to keep on trying. I was feeling positive. That week I had a bit of an emotional breakdown. 3 days prior I had tested positive on an OPK and then negative on 2 more sticks with the same cup of U. Called my doctor and they said most likely it was a negative and to test the next day. I was frustrated. I had been on fertility drugs since November, still not pregnant, exhausted from tracking and trying. I was feeling burnt out. I remember I prayed and told God I was done. I didn't test the next day, or the day after. But that Friday I felt like I should. So I did. I tested + on 4 OPK sticks. Called the doctor. They were leaving the office for the day in an hour. So we rushed, got there, did the IUI and left. The weekend went great. It was St. Pattys day weekend and I WAS feeling lucky. I felt like everything had fallen into place.

I tested 11 days after the IUI and had a POSITIVE pregnancy stick!! I cried. I mean I CRIED!!! I was getting into the shower and I cried uncontrollably and just kept praying. I couldn't stop giving thanks that the procedure worked. And then.... I was terrified!!!! Oh my gosh. here I am pregnant... for the 5th time. and 3 of those times ended between 7-8 weeks. I am technically 11 days past the IUI and 4-5 weeks pregnant. I have SO long to go before I'm "out of the woods" called the first trimester. In the past we have told our family right away. I announce it to the facebook world and only 1 time out of 4 I didn't have to share the bad news of loosing the baby. This time I decided I didn't want to tell anybody. I wanted to focus on my emotional and physical health without the calls and questions of "how are you doing?" "are you taking it easy?" "what are the doctors saying". It was a nice choice that I would not change. I really focused on giving thanks to God and asking for his protection over this pregnancy. To help me overcome my fear and anxiety. And though I still have my days of feeling uncertain I have been pretty at peace with this pregnancy. In the last 2 weeks we have told our mother's)

I have been extremely tired with this pregnancy, nauseous if I am not eating, so needless to say I eat constantly and will probably get ginormous. I have had a ton of round ligament pain, Which I had with almost all of my pregnancies. And the best is we had a GREAT ultrasound at 8 1/2 weeks and I saw a strong heartbeat and a little head and leg buds, yesterday at my midwives (tell you about that in another post) appointment Augustine found the heartbeat!! Strong!!! I was so relieved and so excited!

So that is where we are at right now! 11 weeks (tomorrow, Friday the 18th) and my plan is to announce to our family and friends at my 30th birthday party on June 1st!) I will be 13 weeks.

Fill In the Blank Friday

1. Something popular that I can't stand/just don't "get" is the whole... I'm not even going to go there. :)

2. Something unpopular that I secretly love is...... listening to Bluegrass. I have sat. radio in my SUV and me and my 2 1/2 year old son love to listen to it. He plays the air drums or the air fiddle and I play the air banjo. Most of the time when we get in the car he yels "Turn up the bluegrass!" love it!

3. When I've had a bad day I may swear a little bit. I won't lie. I am hard on myself. I get a little depressed... and then I search the house for food.

4. I'd prefer a baked potato, loaded with the good to chocolate, ice cream or any sweet dessert.

5. Something that makes me nervous is driving through intersections. I don't freak out or anything but I usually say a little prayer in my head that noone will T-bone me.

6. Something worth fighting for is my son. I prefer not to fight. But if I have to put the gloves on.... I will!

7. When people think of me, I hope they think "she's fun! she's a hard worker, she loves her family, she's a good mom, and she loves to help others"

Thank you Krystle for postin this. Working at 3AM and I needed a little break!

Moody Monday

Miscellaneous Monday

1) This morning I had a Dr.'s appointment. I left the house realized I forgot my wallett and called the office. They had to reschedule me. I was ticked. Cried the whole way home, scarring Dillon for life I'm sure. I actually haven't cried as hard as I did this morning in a long time.

2) ^ I think I cried because I've been feeling pretty frustrated with life lately. I have never wanted to set my house on fire, move to a different town and basically just start over as much as I have in the last few weeks. (Don't worry it's a phase and it will pass)

3) In the last week I've had 3 people tell me that Dillon needs a baby sister or brother and Ron and I better get busy. (Do you ever have those moments in your head where you freeze time and have a mental image of breaking someone's nose.... I did.... 3 times) Sometimes I want to make a shirt that says something along the lines of..... I'd have another kid if my body would carry a child......Clomid didn't work, Femara did't  work, mMaybe if I did crack I would get pregnant....(too harsh?)  You get the idea. When you see someone without kids or with kids don't tell them what they need to be doing in the kid department.THE END.

4) I love love love this weather. LOVE!

5) It's officially hunting season. I love and hate this season all at the same time. Love it because I love cooler weather, getting out in the mountains, and I love having meat in our freezer. Hate it because it consumes every weekend. I wish it was spread out over a few months.

6) My chickens have been laying eggs like crazy. It's so cool to cook breakfast, go out to feed the chickens and I have a new handful of eggs. And they taste better than any store bought egg.

7) October 15, 2011 is Infant and Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day. :(

8) I am so excited to use my photography to help those less fortunate in December. Stay tuned on my facebook page to here more and how you could possibly help. It's going to be neat!!

9) My dog has cancer. :( Ron and I are looking into getting a new puppy before Miss Maggie dies so the new puppy can learn some of her traits.

10) Dillon is an amazing little man. Today he is the best thing I could be around. His hugs sure heal the heart.

Friday Foolishness........Thanks Krystle ;).....

Krystle did this and it was fun to read. I'm at work and bored and procrastinating. So I figured I would do it too!

Fill in the blanks....

If I were to get pregnant again...I wouldn't do anything. I would keep it a secret for a long time.

If I could have any job in the world...I would be a saty at home mom and photographer. NO OTHER JOB.

 

If I had a day to myself... As of right now, I would organize and clean my house and then enjy it staying clean longer than 5 minutes. I wold take a bubble bath, read, and nap.

If I could get married all over again..... I would do things differently, but still marry Ron.

If I could live anywhere in the US...I love Oregon. I don't want to live anywhere else.

If my boy would have been girl they would have been named..  Lillian Jean Lacy

If I could have any talent in the world... Sing. And I would sound like Wynonna Judd. Love Love Love her voice.

If you met me in real life...

If I could go back to school and get a different degree... I don't have a degree, but if i could go back to school I would love to go to the photography college I was accepted to. And be a high fashion photographer and hopefully would have had my images in  magazines!

 

If money was no object...We'd build a house, a BIG one and since money was no object I would hire a housecleaner to come once a week. And a personal chef. :) One that cooks all the the healthy food. I would still cook but it would be all my delicious fatty meals. And I would pay off all our debt.

If I could meet one celebrity, it would be.... I'm not too big on meeting celebrities. So I have no clue. It would be fun to cook with Rhee Drummond- Pioneer Lady. Or maybe second shoot a wedding with Jasmine Star.

If I could shop at only one store the rest of my life... (and in this pretend life the clothes look great on me right?) I would shop at ShopRuche.com. I love their stuff.

 

If we were to get another pet it would be...a dog and a horse.

If I could go on a trip right now...Italy.

If I had to choose between a house cleaner and a personal chef...Personal chef.

If I had the option of plastic surgery... Breast Reduction!!!!!! and tummy tuck. :) (Cut out all the stretch marks)

A. Age: 29 YIKES!!!


B. Bed size: King. I love it love love it. We used to have a queen, but I like to have my space and I wanted something that when we had kids could fit us all. Morning cartoon time babay!

C. Chore that you hate: Unloading the Dishwasher it doesn't take that long but I hate it. Sometimes I will run it again just to have an excuse not to put them away. I also hate folding clothes.

D. Dogs: One. Miss Maggie. Lab/Chow mix. I hope to get a chocolate or white lab soon.

E. Essential start to your day: coffee definately helps or a shower

F. Favorite color: red and then yellow

G. Gold or Silver: Silver and every once in a great while during the summer if my ski is tan, gold.

H. Height: 5' 5

I. Instruments you play: kazoo. (just joking. none)

J. Job title: Mommy, Wife, (yes those are jobs) Photographer, Payroll and Safety Director

K. Kids: Mr. Dillon and 3 angel babies.

L. Live: Southern Oregon

M. Mother’s name: Laurie

N. Nicknames: Lace

O. Overnight hospital stays: When I had my son.

P. Pet peeves: people who chew with their mouth open, smacking. People who smoke in groups of people and around kids. When food is gone and people continue to scrape the plate or bowl with their silverware. Drivers on the freeway who don't get over to the slow lane when you come up on them. I can go on. I have a ton of pet peeves. ha!

Q. Quote from a movie:I don't have a favorite so I'll just write the first one that came to mind. "Nobody puts baby in the corner"

R. Right or left handed: Right

S. Siblings: Two brothers, younger sister and two older step siblings.

T: Time to wake up: Between 6-7 but love to sleep into about 8 or 9. Dillon does too so it's nice when we can.

U. Underwear: Yes always. I don't know how people can not wear them.

V. Vegetable you hate: I like them all.

W. What makes you run late: Me. I'm always late. I take on too much and then am always cramming to fit everything in. Add some procrastination into the mix and I'm late.

X. X-Rays you’ve had: just at the dentist.

Y. Yummy food that you make: homemade hamburgers with ALL the fixin's, French Toast Casserole, Homemade Spahgetti, Blackberry BBQ Chicken, Breakfast Burritos.

Z. Zoo animal: MONKEYS! I can watch them all day. Just ask Ron.

Copy and Paste and do it yourself!! :) Let me know if you did so I can come check it out!

supernaturally equipped

Two posts in one week! What is wrong with me? (Don't answer that!)
****DISCLAIMER: I lack correct punctuation. I ramble and sometimes you'll finish reading one of my posts and be more confused than ever!. Have fun!


I wanted to share a devotional I read tonight and how this hit home for me. But first read the devotional. This is from Joyce Meyer, Starting and ending your day. (great book with short but powerful devotions) You can buy it here.

Go your way....And be not grieved and depressed, for the joy of the Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10
I spent a lot of time in years gone by learning to enjoy my life. The key phrase is my life. I learned not to covet someone else's life, but to enjoy mine. It has not been easy and I am still learning. But one thing I do know is that it is God's will for you to enjoy the life He has provided. The joy of the Lord is your strength. You must make a decision to enjoy everyday life.
Enjoying life does not mean you have something exciting going on all the time; it simply means you enjoy simple, everyday things. Most of life is rather ordinary, but you are supernaturally equipped with the power of God to live ordinary everyday life in an extraordinary way.Live life to the fullest and be a witness to the power of God that is available to everyone.

This devotion, for me, was awesome. I don't know what other word(s) to use right now. Perhaps, right on, what I needed, a perfect reminder.... All I know is when I decided tonight to pick up this book, a book that I so often forget about, it was the Lord's plan that I read not today's date but a few days ahead. (It's my rebellious nature...☺) So often I find myself getting wrapped up in other peoples lives. I find myself envious of others. (I don't like that word. It sounds so mean.... so sinful.) With so many social networking sites, people posting everything about their life for everyone to see and the social media making you feel that you don't have enough it's a never ending battle not to be slightly envious of someone else. Someone said to me once that people post (on facebook, twitter etc) what they want people to think their life is. (Those weren't the exact words but I can't fully remember. I will blame that on mommy brain) While this is not entirely true, I do find some truth in it. Not too many people air out their dirty laundry. (Which is great, because really, online is not the place to do that) But there are times I find myself irritated with my life. One of those days where you over-exaggerate every bad thing that has happened throughout your entire life.... starting at birth. ha! Then you get on facebook and everyone's husbands are buying them flowers, their kids are perfect, business is booming, and they just farted and it smelled like cotton candy. OR there are those times that you're having a fine day and you sit down pick up a magazine or get online and you start thinking and wishing you had "that" persons life or "that" persons money or whatever it may be. (I think at this point I am rambling and more than likely not making any sense whatsoever....I'm going to roll with it though.)

I guess why this devotional hit home for me was because sometimes I loose site of what really matters. I begin to compare myself and my life to others via what they post on facebook. What I see in magazines etc..... This devotion was a reminder that I need to enjoy what I have been blessed with. It was also a slap in the face because it made me realize how much more I need the Lord in my life!!!

Did this devotion hit home for you?

Truth Filled Tuesday (and some other random nonsense)

1) I completely forgot about this blog! No literally, up until the other day I have not thought once about this blog since my last post. I forget so many things. Like my lunch that is sitting at home on my kitchen counter... along with 2 clients pictures I was to drop of today.... arggggg. Can I blame this on old age and being a mom?

2) I didn't shower today. I gave myself a "spit" bath and sprayed some water on my hair to make it look like I did something with it.... but in all reality, I rolled out of bed did some chores and was too lazy to take a shower. (Did I put this on my last Truth filled tuesday?) oops.

3) I pretended that I had thousands of dollars in my bank account this morning. Went onto anthropologie.com racked up a HUGE bill in the shopping cart of some SUPER cute items.... then I deleted everything, x'd out of the page and went about my day.

4) I have really poor use of grammar! If you judge me I don't like ya. It aint nice to be mean.

5) I sometimes stand in the mirror and practice my supermodel poses, just in case I'm ever asked to be on the cover of a magazine. I even put my osculating fan in front of me so my hair blows all diva like.

Well I better get back to work. If you want to share 5 truths about yourself that would be kinda fun! Leave a comment with the link to your truths!

Have a great day!

29 for a week....

It has officially been one week. For what you say? Well, it's been one week since I turned 29. YIKES!!! That means I will be 30 in 51 weeks. hahaha! I know, I'm silly. I've been saying for awhile now that I want to stay in my 20's. My body aches and hurts enough now, I don't want it getting older and worse. However the main reason I say this is because I think the 20's are your practive years to being a REAL adult. It's almost like once your 30+ you have to have your crap together. ha! I am an unorganized person, I overbook myself, I can be a bit lazy, I choose fun over responsibility at times. What can I say, I'm a Gemini!  My goal on my 29th birthday was to make a list of things I wanted to do and accomplish in my 29th year. Well, I failed at that. It's been a week and I haven't made any lists at all. I think it's because i'm unorganized, this week was busy and I had a lazy day here and there. ha!

I haven't ever been too fond of letting people know many of my personal goals or business goals for fear of humiliation if I don't complete them. Well, here I go. I'm making a list and ya'all get to see it. This is a list of small, large, important, unimportant and silly things I want to do and/or accomplish in the next 51 weeks.

1) Organize my desk at home. File all paper away and create a system to keep it clutter free. Even though I know where almost everything is, it looks sloppy. I say this one first because I'm sitting at this desk and yikes!
2) Be a better mom. Every week I want to do sometype of outing or craft with Dillon.
3) Learn to not worry so much what people think of me. As long as I am happy with what I am doing, what I look like etc. Than I will be happy
4) Fall more in love with my husband.
5) Run a half marathon
6) More landscaping around the house
7) Teach myself to play an instrument
8) Get professional pictures taken of my little family
9) Read a biography
10) KICK INFERTILITY's ASS

I will be posting more, these were the top 10 that came to mind as I was sitting here.