Sunday, November 4, 2012

Where's the chocolate!!!

I'm sorry but I'm depressed and I need to vent. Read at your own risk. I'm just burnt out.

When I was pregnant with Dillon I loved being pregnant. I loved everything about it and I don't remember getting tired and ready for it to be over.

Well... I am done being pregnant with baby #2. The past month has been very stressful for me. Especially these past two weeks. I have been sick with a major chest cold, flu like symptoms and a major sinus infection. Dillon has also been sick off an on the last 2 weeks. I have had zero energy, my stomach muscles and ligaments are sore from coughing so much as is my head, my face hurts from sinus pressure, my body aches from being pregnant and sick. I'm stressed thinking that my sickness has given this baby a more stressful environment the past two weeks than what I wanted. I wanted to be on "maternity leave" as of November 1st. My plan for November was to enjoy my last month with my son, get the house in order a bit and just relax and soak in the last month of my pregnancy. This is not the case and I am heartbroken. Because of me being sick I am weeks behind on client orders, I had to reschedule a small handful of sessions for the second weekend in November which means I'll be editing for the week or two after, Ron leaves to go out of town for a week and a half this Wednesday which means I will be back to single mama status. I have absolutely nothing in my house that pertains to a newborn baby. Everything is still in the attic. I have my best friends baby shower tomorrow and I so wish I felt 100% for it. My projects for the shower I didn't start on until today because of being so sick and they turned out like crap. So I've been crying for the last 1/2 hour. (Mostly from the stress of the last couple weeks). I just want to shut my cell phone off. Put a gate at the end of my driveway lock the doors and go into a complete hibernation for the next 4 weeks. I am wiped out. Maxed out. Stressed out. :(

Sorry for being a nag. But I needed to vent a bit. Prayers would be appreciated.

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