13

Wow, Here I am.

I have been holding off waiting to write this blog post. So much fear, trying to trust in God and give this journey to Him. So often I get excited and forget to give thanks and pray.

I am SO happy and SO relieved to announce

 

Ron and I along with some doctors have gotten me knocked up! As I am writing this I am 11 weeks pregnant and by the time you read it I will be 13 weeks!!! Here's how it all happened...

In February I explained to my fertility doctor that I would like to try an IUI. IUI stands for Intro Uterine Insemination. (This is not IVF, In-Vitro Fertilization) IUI is the process of me testing my ovulation, calling my doctors office when I have a positive OPK (ovulation Predictor stick/kit), I then "collect" my husbands "goods" and since we live so far away I put on my blue and pink lighted siren, slap the sperm in transport sticker on my car and drive like a mad women to the other side of town. (Just joking) But I do have to get the "goods" to the office within 30 minutes. So it does call for some speeding. Once at the doctor I hand over the "goods" and wait in the waiting room for 40 minutes. In my case I went back out to my car with Ron and Dillon to take my mind off the process for a sec. In this 40 minutes the nurse washes the "goods" with a saline and seperates the good guys from the bad guys. After 40 minutes I go into the office. (The following may be TMI for guys to read and prudent ladies) ;) I go into the exam room, hoist my legs up into the oh so comfy stirrups. The doctor slips a catheter into my body and places it at the base of the uterus. (This saves the little swimmers an exhausting trip up vagina I-5 and hopefully get's them to the egg!) She injects the "goods" and we're done. (seriously a less than 5 minute procedure and completely painless) She hands me a magazine and I lay on the table with my hips elevated for 30 minutes. Then go home and wait.

That procedure was done on March 16th! I waited.... and waited... wondering if this costly little procedure was going to work or if we were going to have to keep on trying. I was feeling positive. That week I had a bit of an emotional breakdown. 3 days prior I had tested positive on an OPK and then negative on 2 more sticks with the same cup of U. Called my doctor and they said most likely it was a negative and to test the next day. I was frustrated. I had been on fertility drugs since November, still not pregnant, exhausted from tracking and trying. I was feeling burnt out. I remember I prayed and told God I was done. I didn't test the next day, or the day after. But that Friday I felt like I should. So I did. I tested + on 4 OPK sticks. Called the doctor. They were leaving the office for the day in an hour. So we rushed, got there, did the IUI and left. The weekend went great. It was St. Pattys day weekend and I WAS feeling lucky. I felt like everything had fallen into place.

I tested 11 days after the IUI and had a POSITIVE pregnancy stick!! I cried. I mean I CRIED!!! I was getting into the shower and I cried uncontrollably and just kept praying. I couldn't stop giving thanks that the procedure worked. And then.... I was terrified!!!! Oh my gosh. here I am pregnant... for the 5th time. and 3 of those times ended between 7-8 weeks. I am technically 11 days past the IUI and 4-5 weeks pregnant. I have SO long to go before I'm "out of the woods" called the first trimester. In the past we have told our family right away. I announce it to the facebook world and only 1 time out of 4 I didn't have to share the bad news of loosing the baby. This time I decided I didn't want to tell anybody. I wanted to focus on my emotional and physical health without the calls and questions of "how are you doing?" "are you taking it easy?" "what are the doctors saying". It was a nice choice that I would not change. I really focused on giving thanks to God and asking for his protection over this pregnancy. To help me overcome my fear and anxiety. And though I still have my days of feeling uncertain I have been pretty at peace with this pregnancy. In the last 2 weeks we have told our mother's)

I have been extremely tired with this pregnancy, nauseous if I am not eating, so needless to say I eat constantly and will probably get ginormous. I have had a ton of round ligament pain, Which I had with almost all of my pregnancies. And the best is we had a GREAT ultrasound at 8 1/2 weeks and I saw a strong heartbeat and a little head and leg buds, yesterday at my midwives (tell you about that in another post) appointment Augustine found the heartbeat!! Strong!!! I was so relieved and so excited!

So that is where we are at right now! 11 weeks (tomorrow, Friday the 18th) and my plan is to announce to our family and friends at my 30th birthday party on June 1st!) I will be 13 weeks.

Fill In the Blank Friday

1. Something popular that I can't stand/just don't "get" is the whole... I'm not even going to go there. :)

2. Something unpopular that I secretly love is...... listening to Bluegrass. I have sat. radio in my SUV and me and my 2 1/2 year old son love to listen to it. He plays the air drums or the air fiddle and I play the air banjo. Most of the time when we get in the car he yels "Turn up the bluegrass!" love it!

3. When I've had a bad day I may swear a little bit. I won't lie. I am hard on myself. I get a little depressed... and then I search the house for food.

4. I'd prefer a baked potato, loaded with the good to chocolate, ice cream or any sweet dessert.

5. Something that makes me nervous is driving through intersections. I don't freak out or anything but I usually say a little prayer in my head that noone will T-bone me.

6. Something worth fighting for is my son. I prefer not to fight. But if I have to put the gloves on.... I will!

7. When people think of me, I hope they think "she's fun! she's a hard worker, she loves her family, she's a good mom, and she loves to help others"

Thank you Krystle for postin this. Working at 3AM and I needed a little break!

Moody Monday

Miscellaneous Monday

1) This morning I had a Dr.'s appointment. I left the house realized I forgot my wallett and called the office. They had to reschedule me. I was ticked. Cried the whole way home, scarring Dillon for life I'm sure. I actually haven't cried as hard as I did this morning in a long time.

2) ^ I think I cried because I've been feeling pretty frustrated with life lately. I have never wanted to set my house on fire, move to a different town and basically just start over as much as I have in the last few weeks. (Don't worry it's a phase and it will pass)

3) In the last week I've had 3 people tell me that Dillon needs a baby sister or brother and Ron and I better get busy. (Do you ever have those moments in your head where you freeze time and have a mental image of breaking someone's nose.... I did.... 3 times) Sometimes I want to make a shirt that says something along the lines of..... I'd have another kid if my body would carry a child......Clomid didn't work, Femara did't  work, mMaybe if I did crack I would get pregnant....(too harsh?)  You get the idea. When you see someone without kids or with kids don't tell them what they need to be doing in the kid department.THE END.

4) I love love love this weather. LOVE!

5) It's officially hunting season. I love and hate this season all at the same time. Love it because I love cooler weather, getting out in the mountains, and I love having meat in our freezer. Hate it because it consumes every weekend. I wish it was spread out over a few months.

6) My chickens have been laying eggs like crazy. It's so cool to cook breakfast, go out to feed the chickens and I have a new handful of eggs. And they taste better than any store bought egg.

7) October 15, 2011 is Infant and Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day. :(

8) I am so excited to use my photography to help those less fortunate in December. Stay tuned on my facebook page to here more and how you could possibly help. It's going to be neat!!

9) My dog has cancer. :( Ron and I are looking into getting a new puppy before Miss Maggie dies so the new puppy can learn some of her traits.

10) Dillon is an amazing little man. Today he is the best thing I could be around. His hugs sure heal the heart.

Friday Foolishness........Thanks Krystle ;).....

Krystle did this and it was fun to read. I'm at work and bored and procrastinating. So I figured I would do it too!

Fill in the blanks....

If I were to get pregnant again...I wouldn't do anything. I would keep it a secret for a long time.

If I could have any job in the world...I would be a saty at home mom and photographer. NO OTHER JOB.

 

If I had a day to myself... As of right now, I would organize and clean my house and then enjy it staying clean longer than 5 minutes. I wold take a bubble bath, read, and nap.

If I could get married all over again..... I would do things differently, but still marry Ron.

If I could live anywhere in the US...I love Oregon. I don't want to live anywhere else.

If my boy would have been girl they would have been named..  Lillian Jean Lacy

If I could have any talent in the world... Sing. And I would sound like Wynonna Judd. Love Love Love her voice.

If you met me in real life...

If I could go back to school and get a different degree... I don't have a degree, but if i could go back to school I would love to go to the photography college I was accepted to. And be a high fashion photographer and hopefully would have had my images in  magazines!

 

If money was no object...We'd build a house, a BIG one and since money was no object I would hire a housecleaner to come once a week. And a personal chef. :) One that cooks all the the healthy food. I would still cook but it would be all my delicious fatty meals. And I would pay off all our debt.

If I could meet one celebrity, it would be.... I'm not too big on meeting celebrities. So I have no clue. It would be fun to cook with Rhee Drummond- Pioneer Lady. Or maybe second shoot a wedding with Jasmine Star.

If I could shop at only one store the rest of my life... (and in this pretend life the clothes look great on me right?) I would shop at ShopRuche.com. I love their stuff.

 

If we were to get another pet it would be...a dog and a horse.

If I could go on a trip right now...Italy.

If I had to choose between a house cleaner and a personal chef...Personal chef.

If I had the option of plastic surgery... Breast Reduction!!!!!! and tummy tuck. :) (Cut out all the stretch marks)

A. Age: 29 YIKES!!!


B. Bed size: King. I love it love love it. We used to have a queen, but I like to have my space and I wanted something that when we had kids could fit us all. Morning cartoon time babay!

C. Chore that you hate: Unloading the Dishwasher it doesn't take that long but I hate it. Sometimes I will run it again just to have an excuse not to put them away. I also hate folding clothes.

D. Dogs: One. Miss Maggie. Lab/Chow mix. I hope to get a chocolate or white lab soon.

E. Essential start to your day: coffee definately helps or a shower

F. Favorite color: red and then yellow

G. Gold or Silver: Silver and every once in a great while during the summer if my ski is tan, gold.

H. Height: 5' 5

I. Instruments you play: kazoo. (just joking. none)

J. Job title: Mommy, Wife, (yes those are jobs) Photographer, Payroll and Safety Director

K. Kids: Mr. Dillon and 3 angel babies.

L. Live: Southern Oregon

M. Mother’s name: Laurie

N. Nicknames: Lace

O. Overnight hospital stays: When I had my son.

P. Pet peeves: people who chew with their mouth open, smacking. People who smoke in groups of people and around kids. When food is gone and people continue to scrape the plate or bowl with their silverware. Drivers on the freeway who don't get over to the slow lane when you come up on them. I can go on. I have a ton of pet peeves. ha!

Q. Quote from a movie:I don't have a favorite so I'll just write the first one that came to mind. "Nobody puts baby in the corner"

R. Right or left handed: Right

S. Siblings: Two brothers, younger sister and two older step siblings.

T: Time to wake up: Between 6-7 but love to sleep into about 8 or 9. Dillon does too so it's nice when we can.

U. Underwear: Yes always. I don't know how people can not wear them.

V. Vegetable you hate: I like them all.

W. What makes you run late: Me. I'm always late. I take on too much and then am always cramming to fit everything in. Add some procrastination into the mix and I'm late.

X. X-Rays you’ve had: just at the dentist.

Y. Yummy food that you make: homemade hamburgers with ALL the fixin's, French Toast Casserole, Homemade Spahgetti, Blackberry BBQ Chicken, Breakfast Burritos.

Z. Zoo animal: MONKEYS! I can watch them all day. Just ask Ron.

Copy and Paste and do it yourself!! :) Let me know if you did so I can come check it out!

supernaturally equipped

Two posts in one week! What is wrong with me? (Don't answer that!)
****DISCLAIMER: I lack correct punctuation. I ramble and sometimes you'll finish reading one of my posts and be more confused than ever!. Have fun!


I wanted to share a devotional I read tonight and how this hit home for me. But first read the devotional. This is from Joyce Meyer, Starting and ending your day. (great book with short but powerful devotions) You can buy it here.

Go your way....And be not grieved and depressed, for the joy of the Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10
I spent a lot of time in years gone by learning to enjoy my life. The key phrase is my life. I learned not to covet someone else's life, but to enjoy mine. It has not been easy and I am still learning. But one thing I do know is that it is God's will for you to enjoy the life He has provided. The joy of the Lord is your strength. You must make a decision to enjoy everyday life.
Enjoying life does not mean you have something exciting going on all the time; it simply means you enjoy simple, everyday things. Most of life is rather ordinary, but you are supernaturally equipped with the power of God to live ordinary everyday life in an extraordinary way.Live life to the fullest and be a witness to the power of God that is available to everyone.

This devotion, for me, was awesome. I don't know what other word(s) to use right now. Perhaps, right on, what I needed, a perfect reminder.... All I know is when I decided tonight to pick up this book, a book that I so often forget about, it was the Lord's plan that I read not today's date but a few days ahead. (It's my rebellious nature...☺) So often I find myself getting wrapped up in other peoples lives. I find myself envious of others. (I don't like that word. It sounds so mean.... so sinful.) With so many social networking sites, people posting everything about their life for everyone to see and the social media making you feel that you don't have enough it's a never ending battle not to be slightly envious of someone else. Someone said to me once that people post (on facebook, twitter etc) what they want people to think their life is. (Those weren't the exact words but I can't fully remember. I will blame that on mommy brain) While this is not entirely true, I do find some truth in it. Not too many people air out their dirty laundry. (Which is great, because really, online is not the place to do that) But there are times I find myself irritated with my life. One of those days where you over-exaggerate every bad thing that has happened throughout your entire life.... starting at birth. ha! Then you get on facebook and everyone's husbands are buying them flowers, their kids are perfect, business is booming, and they just farted and it smelled like cotton candy. OR there are those times that you're having a fine day and you sit down pick up a magazine or get online and you start thinking and wishing you had "that" persons life or "that" persons money or whatever it may be. (I think at this point I am rambling and more than likely not making any sense whatsoever....I'm going to roll with it though.)

I guess why this devotional hit home for me was because sometimes I loose site of what really matters. I begin to compare myself and my life to others via what they post on facebook. What I see in magazines etc..... This devotion was a reminder that I need to enjoy what I have been blessed with. It was also a slap in the face because it made me realize how much more I need the Lord in my life!!!

Did this devotion hit home for you?

Truth Filled Tuesday (and some other random nonsense)

1) I completely forgot about this blog! No literally, up until the other day I have not thought once about this blog since my last post. I forget so many things. Like my lunch that is sitting at home on my kitchen counter... along with 2 clients pictures I was to drop of today.... arggggg. Can I blame this on old age and being a mom?

2) I didn't shower today. I gave myself a "spit" bath and sprayed some water on my hair to make it look like I did something with it.... but in all reality, I rolled out of bed did some chores and was too lazy to take a shower. (Did I put this on my last Truth filled tuesday?) oops.

3) I pretended that I had thousands of dollars in my bank account this morning. Went onto anthropologie.com racked up a HUGE bill in the shopping cart of some SUPER cute items.... then I deleted everything, x'd out of the page and went about my day.

4) I have really poor use of grammar! If you judge me I don't like ya. It aint nice to be mean.

5) I sometimes stand in the mirror and practice my supermodel poses, just in case I'm ever asked to be on the cover of a magazine. I even put my osculating fan in front of me so my hair blows all diva like.

Well I better get back to work. If you want to share 5 truths about yourself that would be kinda fun! Leave a comment with the link to your truths!

Have a great day!